Worst things about being a female outdoor instructor:
1. Changing – Not matter how hard you try to be discreet, body parts inevitably get flashed to innocent car park users or dog walkers. The Robie has definitely eliminated the bum flash but you will never eliminate the side boob flash.
2. The ’wet boob t-shirt stain’ – That moment when you look down and realise your boobs are perfectly outlined by your slightly soggy T-shirt material JUST because you didn’t have the foresight to bring a spare bra!
3. Tan lines – The joy of dressing up to go for summer drinks, then the horror of realising your arm looks like a pint of Guinness.
4. Nail varnish fail – There are moments when you think ‘yeah I can be girly, I will paint my nails.’ Inevitably, within 24 hours, your nails are chipped, smudged and have turned into the hands of the Wicked Witch. Why bother!?
5. Toilet time – There are many jealous moments witnessing boys take two steps in any direction for a relatively discreet wee. The lady wee is never discreet, you’ll need a a strong bladder just to walk far enough to find a hidden spot; even then splash back and a nettle-stung bum is almost inevitable.
Best things about being a female outdoor instructor
1. Natural sea sprayed hair – Toni & Guy Casual Sea Salt Texturising Spray (200ml) costs £7.49. Jumping in the sea for work every day = salon ‘perfect’ hair and £7.50 to spend in the pub!
2. Every outfit is a flip flop outfit – That great summer feeling when every walk to the pub, dance in the club or dinner out can be done in flip flops.
3. Tan – Being outside for most of every day getting that great summer glow.
4. No gym – Working outside and keeping toned by doing an active job, coasteering, kayaking, paddle boarding. And even better, you NEED to eat cake to keep up energy levels.
5. Mates – Your work mates are not girly-girls which means if there are drinks after work it takes you all 30 seconds to be in the pub because you don’t need to paint your nails, touch up make up, wash salty hair, change soggy t-shirts or put your heels on! JOIN US and be part of an amazing industry!
16 June 2016 by Rosie Tanner